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Deep dives into emotional escapades, especially the formative ones about who we are and what we like, often open a can of worms. More so if you grow in up situation where understanding and tolerance isn’t at the forefront of your community. Yet, for Madilyn Mei on her latest single "A Can of Worms," the can of worms is now a tunnel-like journey of beauty and grace. It's the misunderstood acceptance of the clown representing a window into the collision of our inner and outer selves, the yin and yang of who we represent. Wanting to dig deeper into this young & promising artist's very unique approach, we popped on the laptop window box to learn more:

OnesToWatch: The first question I always ask – because I love it and it’s a great way of getting to know you both as a person and an artist – is why are you an artist? 

Madilyn Mei: I've been making music since I was in the fourth grade. It's always been a very big part of who I am. Even before I would make music, I would write poems. Eventually I just started to put it to music when I got my first ukulele, and I don't really remember a time that I wasn't making music. On my next album, actually, the intro song is called “My Sense of Purpose,” and it’s a bit of a bleak outlook, but it talks about how music has been the only thing I’ve known. Sometimes it’s difficult when my only sense of purpose is something that can be so hard. 

I love that answer, and the cynicism of the outlook that music is all you’re meant to do. Were there any other creative outlets that were competing for your attention growing up? I know you mentioned poetry. 

I've had every phase under the sun, and I was a big art kid, so even now I’m getting art supplies for something new every week. I try to have different outlets, but music is definitely the main one. I rock climb sometimes, although I haven't gone in a while because I got foot surgery not too long ago. Music is just always there, begging me to come back to it.

I love that. If, for whatever reason, your musical ability just left you tomorrow, what would you anticipate pivoting to?

I've actually thought about this a lot because it's one of those anxieties, like what if I lose my hands randomly. I feel like I'd always find some way to work in the music world. I really enjoy the visual art of it, too. I design most of my own costumes for photo shoots. I do a lot of the cover art for my albums. And so to answer that, I'd probably go into something with design in mind. 

Tell me, in regards to climbing, do you boulder or belay? 

I'm terrified of bouldering. I like to belay it. I've only ever done it at indoor climbing gyms, but I'm interested in doing it outdoors, maybe someday… 

How did you hurt yourself? I hope not climbing. 


Oh, no, my feet are just messed up naturally. I got the first one done in high school, and then I had to get the other one done recently. They're just silly feet. 

Well, speedy recovery. Hope you can get on your rock climbing journey again soon. Diving into your music, how long have you been writing songs? 

A little before I got my first ukulele in the fourth grade, I remember my parents got me a voice recorder because I kept writing a cappella songs. So, before I could even get my hands on an instrument, I was just making stuff up. I would go to the living room and be like, “Can I sing you guys this? I made it up.” I would just sing it a cappella to them. 


I'm sure that was wonderful. This begs a question. How supportive are your parents? 

They've always been very supportive and admirable of my music. 


Love that. Getting back to your composition, when you start a song, do you have a methodology? 
Is there a standard process you tend to rely on? 

It really depends. Sometimes a melody will pop into my head and then lyrics will come after, or the other way around. Sometimes I hear something, something someone says, and I think that’d make a cool song premise. And then I'll go home and just start writing away. 
So it really depends on where inspiration strikes first. 

Are you often inspired? Do you ever struggle to come up with song ideas or is it an open valve that you wish sometimes would stop? 


It kind of is like that, but then sometimes there's really bad writer’s block. Right now, I have had writer's block for a month straight and it's driving me crazy. But before that, I was writing a song left and right, every second of the day. So I think it kind of makes sense why I'm in a block right now. 


Do you have any cures for a writer's block? 

Sometimes, if it's really not working, like it has been recently, I need to remind myself to just live life, and then it'll come, you know? Because a lot of times I try to write without having anything to even write about and that's where I'm at right now. I feel like everything going on in my life I've already written a song about. I need to just keep living and eventually something will strike again… 


If you could sort of comment on yourself, what do you think has changed most in your songwriting since? 

My music, especially the album that'll be coming out later this year, it's a lot more angry than usual. Which I'm both excited and nervous about. I feel like I've always written in very heavy metaphors about the things I’ve gone through, and it has created a lot of these whimsical, wholesome stories that my fans love, but this upcoming music is much more straightforward. It's very personal. It almost feels like a diary entry. It’s sad and angry and very raw and very vulnerable. That's where the nervousness comes in. But, I'm excited to be a bit more free with how I write and not having to shower everything in metaphor. I'd say that's what's changed the most. 

Well, perfect pivot there.
So let's dive into this album. How old are these songs? 


I think the first songs that I wrote on this album, I wrote at the end of 2023, after my first time touring with my friend Addison Grace. That was my first time on the road for a month, as well as being around other queer people and being away from home for a bit. I was feeling that freedom and just had a whole wave of inspiration from it. I felt that I was finally at a point where I feel free enough to say these things and release these feelings. But it's been a couple years in the making. 

Love that for you. What is inspiring that anger? 

A lot of it comes from the town I grew up in. It was very conservative and I never knew people who felt the same way that I did. And so I spent a lot of time in secret, in the closet. That's where the metaphor comes in with a lot of my older songs, where I'm trying to write about these feelings, but I can't be obvious what they’re about. This album is just me finally finding my voice and showing how angry I am from years of having to keep how I feel a secret. 

What would make you less angry? What would change your music to something happy? 

I think that I'm at the very start of cultivating a life for myself that is creating that change. I have a found family, I’m in my first queer relationship. It's very freeing to finally get to experience being myself. The music I've been writing recently has been very happy and excited about the way the life I’m creating actually fits me. 

That’s an exciting juxtaposition. Let’s get into your art direction, because it's just very unique. Given that your lyricism is intertwined with metaphor, it makes sense that your visuals tend to lean into that fantasy, as well. But tell me about where the circus and clown imagery came from? 

A big theme in my album is shame and feeling like a fool. So, the idea of being a clown just made sense. There’s also a focus on the dichotomy of how well my music career has been doing, while my mental health and personal life have just been crumbling. 
And so the puppet on the album cover is me on stage, the me that I put out there that people think they know. And then the puppeteer is the person behind the persona. 


What would you want a listener to take from your work? 


I’d want them to feel that there's always a person behind whatever art you enjoy who might be going through something. And not even in the context of art, it’s important to internalize that everyone is going through something. I hope that people are able to relate to the struggles and see that it's okay to be open about them. 

Let’s talk about “At Least I'd Be A Cowboy,” which is also a very fun visual. If that song was played out perfectly in an audience member's mind, what would the message be for them? 


I wrote it when I was feeling very alone and working through feelings of abandonment that I'd never felt before. I felt like a clown. I felt like a fool. What I wanted most was to be able to handle this trial and not let it affect me as much as it was. And so when I think of cowboys, I think of the Lone Ranger, the independence, and that's the way I wanted to be interpreting my loneliness. But I just wasn't. And so the idea struck of a rodeo clown who wants to be a cowboy. It just made sense. It’s been really cool to see people relate to it. I wrote it about independence, but I’ve seen people relate it to the transgender experience, and cowboys representing masculinity, and other people seeing you as a clown for wanting to be something you’re not. I didn't even mean to write about that, but I relate to it. And so sometimes I find meaning in my songs that I didn’t even mean to be there, and it only comes out once people have consumed it and related to it themselves. 

Love that.
Great art is always happy accidents, you know. You've already mentioned you rock climb, but when struggling with mental health, what do you do to relax or give yourself some space? 

My girlfriend and I like to cook. We've been watching a lot of reality TV, which I feel is definitely self-care, right? 

Oh, 100%. 

I also like to do crafts. I do enjoy retail therapy. Thrifting, antiquing. I'm a collector. I feel like a crow in human form. Any little trinket, I must have it. I put a lot of importance on my house feeling very comfortable, making it a safe space. I'm a huge homebody. So, you know, a little edible and reality TV is the move. 

What's your current favorite thrift? 

It’s really random stuff. I’d been looking for a shell baking tin for so long, and I found that the other day. I have a frog pot holder right over there. I want my house to feel like it's like a witch's cottage, which is the most random miscellaneous items. 

That's a vibe. If you and your girlfriend came home after rock climbing or antiquing and you were to whip up a meal, what would you make? What's your go to comfort food? 


I was obsessed with Caprese salad for a long time... I didn't even know I liked it, but the first time I tried it, I was like, I'm not eating anything else. 

Delish. Last couple of questions. If you could place yourself anywhere – no physical or metaphysical limits – and perform anywhere with anyone, what's your dream lineup and venue? 

I mean, for the longest time, the band I wanted to open for was AJR, and by some miracle that is happening this summer, so I feel like that has already come true. But, the dream lineup would probably be AJR, Cavetown, and there's this artist I love who is very unknown and I wish more people knew him, but his name is Sonntag and I just feel like I resonate with his songwriting so much, but I can't find anything about him online. He is so incognito. I also really like Yoke Lore. I feel like there's a lot of overlap in our audience. 

OnesToWatch covered him a long time ago, he's an old ally and friend. Great people. What’s the dream venue?

I've definitely had my eye on Red Rocks. I feel like that would be a really fun one. 

To end, I’d love two recommendations. First, a non-music rec. Anything you could suggest to me? 

I'm gonna suggest Vanderpump Rules, even though I'm probably really late to that game, but that has been my recent obsession.

Amazing. Finally, at OnesToWatch, we love when artists put us on to other artists, so who are you listening to that we should be listening to? 

My producer Scrawny. He makes his own music. It's very cool.
I feel like people who are fans of AJR or half*alive would definitely dig it. 

That's great. Madilyn, you've been lovely. It was so nice getting to know you. Enjoy your dream AJR lineup. 

Thank you so much.