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Photo by Juan Flores-Mena

Emmyn Callerio was sitting in a hotel room in Amarillo, Texas, wondering why anyone was buying tickets to see Games We Play.

After more than a decade of making music, signing to the label he had always wanted, releasing Life’s Going Great, and touring with bands like Fall Out Boy and All Time Low, he had technically made it. So why did he feel like he was in the wrong place? “I didn’t want to be doing GWP just because ‘I do it,’” he says. “I wanted to WANT to do it.”

That question became the starting point for I Wish I Never Quit, his most personal Games We Play album yet and the first where he wrote every lyric himself. After feeling disconnected from Life’s Going Great and the pressure to make everything “big,” Emmyn returned to the bedroom songwriting process he started as a 14-year-old, this time with a wife, a daughter and a decade of experience behind him.

The result is an album about choosing fulfillment over expectation and figuring out what Games We Play actually means to him now. That means embracing the weird ideas, the DIY shows, the songs that might not be the most commercial, and, above all, making music he genuinely loves. “I yearn to write something I like,” he says.

THE NOISE caught up with him to discuss the album, the moment he came dangerously close to walking away, and what it means to finally be doing Games We Play on his own terms: 

THE NOISE: You’ve been doing Games We Play since you were 14, and now you’re 25 with a wife, a baby, and a completely different life. When you look at the person who started this project as a teenager, how much of that kid do you still see in yourself?

Games We Play: He’s pretty prevalent right now. I still try to do stuff with my best friends and kind of do whatever I need and risk whatever to try to make things happen, haha. We’re pretty similar, still. I strayed away, but we’re locked in right now, ha.

You’ve described I Wish I Never Quit as a record about burnout, identity, mistakes, and questioning whether you wanted to continue with music. What was happening in your life that made you start asking those questions?

I’m a pretty existential guy and I was just really deeply questioning my WHY. I didn’t want to be doing GWP just because “I do it”, I wanted to WANT to do it. It was a pretty consistent panic the whole tour.

You’ve said that the Hello Ladies tour made you particularly existential about Games We Play. Was there a specific moment on that tour when you realized you were genuinely considering walking away from the project?

Oh yeah. I remember. I was in a nice hotel in Amarillo, TX before going bowling with The Paradox. My brother was in his bed and I was on speaker with my wife, just so confused as to why people were buying tickets, why I was here like I said... And yeah, that whole night while bowling I was seriously considering being in the wrong spot.

You had already achieved some of the things that 14-year-old Emmyn probably dreamed about, including signing to the label you’d always wanted to be on and touring with bands like Fall Out Boy and All Time Low. Did reaching those milestones change what success meant to you?

Yeah, those tours were really fun. And yes, they did change, because even though that’s all I’ve ever wanted, I learned through doing that I craved fulfillment from making what I want to make. Not just performing in front of a lot of people (which btw I love to do, haha).

You’ve been really open about feeling disconnected from Games We Play because you weren’t writing most of the lyrics on Life’s Going Great. What did that experience teach you about the relationship between your identity and the music you make?

I tried really hard to make LGG “big”. Big TikTok videos, co-writes, fancy music videos, and the tours I said above. While playing the game “as you’re supposed to,” I found that I didn’t get to where I wanted. And I felt like I was almost selling out. Now, everything I do I’m constantly questioning and reassuring... IS THIS WHAT I LIKE? IS THIS HOW I WANT TO PRESENT MYSELF?

You made yourself a deal that if you continued Games We Play, you had to do it your way, with the biggest rule being that you had to write your own lyrics. Was that liberating, intimidating, or honestly a little bit of both?

I mean, it sucked, haha. Most of the lyrics I wrote sucked, ha. But the end result is something I’m insanely proud of and honestly believe is good. So, very liberating. Taught me I am good if I try.

You’ve said you were insecure about your writing even before the label years, going all the way back to when your mom helped you write songs in your bedroom. Where do you think that insecurity came from, and what finally helped you push past it?

Honestly, probably that day. I was 14, my mom wrote the lyrics because she loved writing, and my dad wrote the melody to a song called “Talking In My Sleep,” haha. That was my process for the next few songs, so I just assumed I couldn’t do it, and when you deeply believe you can’t, you can’t.

A lot of the new album was written while you were also raising a newborn. Did becoming a father change the way you thought about ambition, especially when it came to pursuing something you started as a teenager?

Fuck yes! I’m trying to be as ambitious as I can, while also fighting so many thoughts of being responsible and throwing in the towel. But no, I need to be as ambitious as I can. I literally announced the biggest tour I’ve EVER put up today. Sometimes how long I’ve been doing this discourages me, for sure. IDK many people my age who are in their 14-year-old band.

Your dad is another really important point of comparison on this album. He quit his band after you were born, while you’ve chosen to keep pursuing yours after becoming a parent. Has becoming a dad changed the way you understand the decision he made?

Yeah, for sure. I mean, the last line of the record is the reason I can’t quit: “And when I’m older I’ll grab this guitar and look right at my daughter, I’ll play my songs for her she’ll think I’m cool, just like I did my father. I’ll tell her playing shows in different states every night with my friends was just the best. And how I wish I never quit.”

The title I Wish I Never Quit is interesting because you almost quit Games We Play entirely. What does “quitting” mean to you now? Was there a version of Games We Play that you needed to leave behind before you could keep going?

I mean, quitting is something I still battle (and won’t give in to), but quitting is getting a job and finally giving up the pressure I put on myself for this thing to work out. The thing I’m leaving behind and trying to every day is that I’m not in control. This will be a long game for me. Try to make the best music I can, tour, make the best show I can, do cool stuff for my fans, repeat.

You’ve described these songs as weird, piano-heavy, and not necessarily super catchy or commercial, but you also say very emphatically, “I LIKE MY NEW SONGS.” Was there a moment during the process when you realized that making music you genuinely loved mattered more than making music you thought everyone else would love?

HELL YES! When I wrote the line “This is a tactical song, what is a tactical song” and I was laughing and I realized that this is why I need to do this. Or the second verse of “Is This What I’m Made Of” where it’s super groovy, I was literally in BLISS writing that and I yearn to write something I like like that in the future.

You’ve gone from traditional LA songwriting sessions to writing songs in your bedroom again and from major tours to things like the Free House Tour. What is it about that DIY version of Games We Play that feels so important to you now?

It’s just more me. I don’t think I’m some cool famous guy. I don’t like when people are fans of ME. I like when people are a fan of Games We Play, and at the core, that’s just the songs and the instruments and me and my friends. I just want to do it normal and not be cool or weird about it, haha. I canceled my tour VIP this morning for that reason. I just like to do normal stuff. Not charge a shit ton for someone to see me perform some acoustic songs that I’ll gladly play for free, haha.

This album is incredibly personal, and you’ve said, “If you know the album, you know me.” Was there a song that felt particularly vulnerable to put on the record because you knew you were revealing something about yourself that you normally might keep private?

Honestly, “Is This What I’m Made Of” goes through the self-talk I have with myself every day. And “Maybe I’m Right” talks about my fears and doubts and what-ifs. I don’t know if most people knew how hard it is for my head to try to do this. Now I’m trying to do it in a healthy manner (my way).

After spending more than a decade with Games We Play, do you feel you’ve figured out who Emmyn is separate from the project, or are those two identities still pretty intertwined?

Recently, I’ve been taking great pride in being a father, and special moments with my daughter make me feel important. I love my little brothers and sister a lot, and my wife. I am a family person. But besides that, no, I don’t have an identity outside of GWP. It’s the only other thing I care about in my life.

You end your album bio by saying, “this time… it’s for real.” After everything that brought you to I Wish I Never Quit, what does “for real” mean to you now?

Just being real about who I am, and when I’m inevitably accidentally doing something for maybe a reason I don’t entirely agree with, catching myself and trying to be true to what I want and who I am. It’s hard, but maybe / I hope it’ll pay off.

Listen to I Wish I Never Quit below: