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Maybe we were blushing already when he first appeared on our Zoom call, but it’s hard not to feel a little flushed when listening to Kevin Atwater. He's dramatic, moving a little tempest of melody and circumstance that feels Lou Reed one moment, Michale Stripe the next. In short, we are always pulled into Kevin Atwater’s music, and on his latest album, Blush Red, that hasn’t changed a bit. The cinematic quality of it, the journey momentum of it feels voyeuristic and ghostly, like riding the wave of a romance not our own. Wanting some backstory to this album and more, we caught up with Kevin on the week of this release, all nerves and handsome smiles:

OnesToWatch: Since obviously, our audience is somewhat familiar with you, I'm going to dive into a 2nd chapter style interview. So, first things first, are you still happy that you are an artist? 

Kevin Atwater: I am still happy that I'm an artist. That actually is a great question that I've never gotten before. Thank you for checking in. I'm happy. I feel like when I put out my first record, I was a little lost afterwards… like, what now? I felt like I just did everything I could do, I couldn’t possibly be inspired again. Then lo and behold, I was inspired again. It's nice to know that that well of inspiration is still accessible, even when it feels like it's gonna fall apart. So I am glad to be an artist. 


Love it. I'm always impressed by artists who are constantly willing to go deep into that well and find stuff. 

It's not always there. I will wake up some days and be like, I know there's a timeline for this, but I literally can't. There's nothing there. It's easy to get defeated by that, but it comes back. You gotta be patient with yourself. 

Let's get into the album. It's why we're here. It’s why we're overwhelmingly excited. Anything different about this recording process? Putting out two records is incredible, so congrats to that, but I can imagine there’s a difference between releases. 

I recorded the album with the same producer, Tom, who I worked on Achilles with. So the actual process of coming together and collaborating and recording was similar in that we already have a rapport and we know how we work together. The actual technical creation of it, while we were using different instrumentation and trying to be more experimental, that spirit was the same. The real difference was in the writing of the music and the overall concept and planning of the album. I knew the story of it before I'd had all the music done. I was writing intentionally with the idea that this is a song about this and here's how it fits into the picture of the album, which is not something that I'd done before. I had sort of experimented in my last album, but the beginning of Achilles was from writing music, posting online, and the ones that people wanted the most, I would put out. I’d make it make sense in the context of the story I was creating for the album. This record I was a little more stubborn about. So I’d say the difference was moving forward with more confidence and knowing the story I wanted to tell. 

Let's get into that story. Tell me more about the construction. Is this a proper narrative? Is it a story that starts with the 1st song and ends with the last? 


Yeah, the first song I wrote intentionally as an introductory track. When we were coming up with the track list order, I sent what I wanted and I was a little stubborn about it. I was like, it won't make sense if it's not this way. You guys can talk about flow if you want to, but I'm entertaining the option for you to give me your opinion and then I will tell you that this is the track list. Thankfully everybody was on board with that. But yes, there’s a narrative for the album, it's a loose concept. 


From an editing point of view, how many songs did you cull down to get to 13 tracks? 

I don't even know if I could give you an exact number. So, the way that I have created this album was I wrote all of the music for this album by myself. I wrote it alone in New York and I went to Los Angeles to record in pieces. By the time I would do every trip, I knew which songs we were going to do in that chunk, and those all made it to the album. I was very intentional about being like, “Okay, these 4 are set, so we'll work on these four.” 
And then the next time I'd dwindle down the other songs. So technically, of the ones we produced, they all made it to the album. But as far as writing goes, I wrote 40 songs, maybe, and we cut from there. 

Were the cuts you made based off of the way they fit into the narrative? 

Yes. There were a few that I really enjoyed and I'm proud of as songs, but the album is about romance, and if I'm writing a song about grief, it just doesn’t fit. 

Let's get into it. I can imagine what Blush Red means, but why don't you tell me specifically? 

When we were coming up with the title for the album, I noticed that I sing about turning red and use the word blush frequently. I noticed that in my songwriting even outside of this project, but specifically in this project. It was a recurring word, red.
I'm turning red and my face is red, you're making me blush, I'm blushing about this, etc. I like that blushing is always an involuntary action, and you can't help but turn red about something, for a number of different reasons.
We associate blushing with shame, but we also associate it with excitement or love or anger. I like that it's this involuntary thing you can't hide, because a lot of this album is about trying to hide the way you feel – and failing. It's something that comes out, even though you don't want it to. 


Love that. You've put together some short films for the album, and they’re excellent. Are they sequential in terms of storytelling? 

It's interesting.The short films act as companion pieces to the music. A lot of the songs on this album are full stories in themselves, and I didn't want to just redo that visually. There's this saying, why would you put a hat on a hat? I used to say in the theater world. But it's the same concept for music. When I thought about the visuals, I wanted to make something that captures the spirit of the song in a different way. 
We also use the short films to sometimes give a more optimistic outlook than the song provides. 

How much of this could potentially be put into a proper longer film? 

To me, when I see the album, I see it as one night. It’s a dive into one night of mess and then coming out of that mess, hopefully changed, but you might repeat the same mistakes, even if you're trying not to. “The Basement Bar,” the 1st song, both literally and figuratively feels like walking down into a bar at the beginning of the night, with this well of excitement in your chest that's sitting there, turning into anxiety, and you have these things you want to get out. And then the album is purging all of that. There’s also an element of searching, discovering. It’s something that happens to me when I get rejected, I go through in my head, “Oh my god, this always happens, and why does this always happen?” Some of the songs aren't happening in the moment, but they're reflections of why is this happening to me all the time? 

I’d love to hear about “God In My Head,” because that’s a 5 minute song, and there’s a lot going on. That’s a journey. 

A lot going on is a great way to just put it. From a musical standpoint too. While I was bringing this song to my producer and to my team, I was sort of apologizing for it in advance. I was like, you're gonna listen to this voice note and it's going to make no sense to you. And that is okay. Just trust me, it is necessary to the album and it's going to make sense eventually. I went to school for theater, so musical theater is very much in my bones as much as I can try to move past it. But “God In My Head” feels, to me, like a musical theater song. There's no chorus. It is just train of thought, saying what you want, getting it out, and then it shifting into a different motif before exploding and turning into a whole other song in a different key. To me, that's the climax of the album. There's you before that song and you after. Especially because in the middle of the song, there’s the admission of wanting someone – it's finally said out loud. Everything’s in my head for the first half of the album, a lot of ruminating on what if something happens, will I ruin everything? And then it comes out and it's rejected and the latter half of the album is a more somber tone because of that. It’s really the center of the album. 

That’s amazing. Do you have a personal ambition for the record? Is there something you want this to unlock for you? 


That's a really good question. On my last record, I had a song called “The Cage,” which was my first attempt at a rock song, which I'd been scared to do, because I feel thus far in my career, I'd mostly done finger picking, acoustic folk kind of stuff.
So that was scary. But that song was received so well, and it led me to pursue a lot more rock experimentation on this album. So, I think my hope is that this album now inspires me to try something new for the next album. Something that was a challenge for me on this album, was writing songs without structure or discernible hook or a chorus. That could be something that feels inspiring to me months down the line when this record is already out and I'm making the music that I'm making next. 

Love that answer. What about for your audience? Do you hope that people take away specific feelings or thoughts? 

I've learned that by being vulnerable in music, people are able to see themselves and project whatever they want onto the songs. And I like that, actually. I used to be really protective of the stories of the songs and be like, “Well, now you're interpreting that wrong.” I've grown up to realize that does not matter. The power of music is that it’s not yours anymore. You give it to people and they can do what they want with it. I write a lot about shame, so I hope that people feel less ashamed in listening. It is funny because I say that, and then I'm also like, I have a song called “Stripper” on this album, which couldn’t be less ashamed… I’m not looking forward to the conversations when my family hears it. But also, I'm proud of the song. That's just a side thought for you. 

Going pivot to some more fun questions. Take us on a date in New York City. 

Does this include practical subway times? 

This is your answer and you have all the power to change time and space if needed. 

Thank you so much. We're starting in the early evening and hopefully it's not super hot. but I am the huge reader, I love books. I also love stationary stores. So we're going to this place called Niconeco Zakkaya, which is this really small, hole in the wall stationary store. I take anyone who comes to New York there because I know they’re going to find something in there that they love. But then the fantasy aspect is that we don’t have to carry the bags around, they get transported back to the apartment magically. Next, I love going to the piers by the West Village. The one I’m thinking of juts all the way out into the water, I think it’s Pier 17. I like to go there, order food to the pier, and sit out on the sunset.
Also, because then you're already downtown Manhattan, you can just go out after. We're just gonna go to the Christopher Street, one stop, and hit literally – in a circle – every gay bar that surrounds it. 

Perfect. Easy. What's your advice for consoling yourself after rejection, heartbreak, disappointment?

It really sucks because the advice that I give to people is so annoying and so hard to take when you're in the moment. But time heals everything actually. You just need time. In the moment, you're like, okay, but what do I do practically, because I feel horrible? You just have to go to bed usually. Go to bed and then do something. Which is so annoying. 
But it's true. That's why everybody says it.
I will think the world is ending because and then in a week, I won't even remember that I felt that way. When you're heartbroken, time just slows down. Everything just takes forever. It's tough. 


Good advice. Okay, going to end on 3 things. I would love a recommendation that's not music, I would love a recommendation that is music, and then we’ll end on anything you want to say.

Oh my gosh, I love this. I'm gonna recommend non-musically two pieces of art that I was obsessed with while making this album. One is a book of poetry called Crush by Richard Sicken. I am not a poetry person usually. I love to read, but typically when I'm reading poems, I'm like, yes, beautiful language, but it usually stops there. This book changed my entire life. I've never read something that's so open and beautiful and heartbreaking. It was gorgeous. I recommend anyone that reads it. Second, I’d reccommend a movie called Weekend by Andrew Haig. I watched it 10 years ago and forgot about it and rewatched it last year and I was like, this movie is one of one. It's just a conversation between 2 gay men, the whole movie.
It's sort of like Before Sunrise but in gay England. It's so touching and so intimate. 

Amazing, I can’t wait to dive in. How about a music recommendation? 

Do you know Perfume Genius? It's this guy named Mike, it's his band. He is a huge inspiration to me and I've just been falling more in love with his stuff. There are two albums specifically, ‘No Shape,’ and ‘Set My Heart on Fire Immediately.’ I have not been able to stop listening to them for like a year. I just keep coming back to them. I highly recommend. They're very cool, very weird. 

I’ll listen. Lastly, any advice, antidotes, promo, shout outs, anything you want to share. 

Come see me on tour. I'm going on tour in September and October, and then in England, and wider Europe in November and December. Also, Pride Month doesn't end. 

Kevin, continued success. The album's amazing. 

Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me.