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Photo: Keith Oshiro

“You don’t really want to hear the truth, do you?”

After releasing the absolute tune that is “Never Ending Song,” Conan Gray has temporarily set aside the '80s-inspired melodies and leather jackets painted with neon yellow stars for the Conan Gray Starter Pack that we originally fell in love with: a box of tissues, some candlesticks, a piano, and a blank journal ready to be scribbled in at two o’clock in the morning. Today, the king of all things indie pop has returned with “Winner,” a heart-wrenching single that somehow leaves you crying and smiling at the same time.

While “Winner” is a punch to the gut for anyone who has been wronged, it is hardly a song about heartbreak so much as it is a song about being hurt by someone you hold (or once held) close to your heart. Whether it was romantic or not, this track will have you reliving your 2020 situationship all over again—specifically the part where you are letting yourself cry, while trying to accept what happened, and simultaneously doing everything in your power to refrain from telling that person just how much pain they have caused you. Gray asks, “How do I somehow feel guilty / When you're the one who let it get this bad?” As each verse progresses, he recognizes the power in feeling one's feelings, ultimately declaring his heartbreaker as the “winner,” inviting them to take a sad, final bow. 

Instrumentally, “Winner” exists in the same realm as “Heather” and “Yours,” starting off as what appears to sound like an acoustic piano ballad, which eventually crescendos into a swarm of pop instrumentals as the vocals climax. Gray’s voice holds such power and conviction; even if you haven’t properly experienced loss, “Winner” will leave you feeling somewhat empty at the start, yet fully empowered towards the end. Sort of like the emoji with a soft smile and a tear.

On the release of “Winner,” Gray shares, “I wrote this song at 2am. Everything at the piano just spilled out all at once. It was a moment where I finally felt like, 'Fine. great job. You did it. You hurt me more than anybody ever could hurt me.' And it oddly felt nice. I see now that there is a certain freedom that comes from recognizing that you’ve been hurt. In no longer running, and just facing the fact that, 'You win. You hurt me.' I hope this song helps people find a little piece of that freedom.”

Watch the "Winner" lyric video below: